Every relationship can use a breath of fresh air to keep the spark ignited. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, use these
healthy relationship tips to power up your love life.
Whether your relationship has grown too familiar or if you want to add more spark, these energizing relationship tips will help you keep the life force between you and your partner strong and healthy.
You know each other so well you sometimes forget that a partnership is an ever evolving organism, one that needs pulse checks and energy readings on a regular basis.
It is natural for couples to feed off each other’s energy. In a balanced and healthy relationship, each person’s strengths help balance out the other person’s weaknesses. Sometimes though, there can be an uneven exchange of energy between you that builds up resentment over time.
Signs of an Unhealthy, Unbalanced Relationship:
- After interacting with him you feel ready for a nap or you yawn a lot.
- You feel diminished after a conversation with her.
- While you are talking to him you find your mind wandering, have escapism daydreams or tune out entirely.
- You feel tense in your body whenever she walks in the door.
- You find yourself snacking more than usual, or lose your appetite altogether.
Don’t panic! None of these symptoms need be an alarm signaling the end of your relationship. Instead, you can use them to anticipate when your relationship needs an energy boost.
Sign #1 of an Energy Shortage: You keep exchanging the same stories and she gets impatient when you forget you’ve already told her “Like, a thousand times already.”
Relationship Tip: Tell her how comfortable you feel telling her about your goofy past or silly mistakes, because you love to make her smile. Then retell the story of what you were thinking the first time you met.
Sign #2 of an Energy Shortage: Your partner didn’t listen to you when you were venting about your day.
Relationship Tip: He’s tuning you out because he’s distracted. You can regain his attention by asking about his day and reassuring him that you value his opinion about your situation.
Sign #3 of an Energy Shortage: You waited all day for your partner to come home so you could share some news, but he retreats to the garage or basement before you can get a word out.
Relationship Tip: This is a sign that he needs time to decompress before interacting with you or the family.
Don’t overreact by taking it personally. Use the 10 to 20 minutes he needs alone to prepare a small surprise for him when he is ready to rejoin you. Have his favorite appetizer ready or have the driveway swept for him to throw a few baskets before dinner.
Sign #4 of an Energy Shortage: You’ve both fallen into a dull routine of television watching or not accomplishing much over the weekend. You often find yourselves saying things like, “Maybe next weekend…” The result is you have nothing new to talk to each other about.
Relationship Tip: Pursue a spiritual passion. A spiritual practice can range from the physical high of running to volunteering at your local elementary school.
If you both share a passion for running at 6:00 a.m., great! If you have separate ideas about what constitutes a spiritual practice, allow and encourage each other to pursue them.
People who feel good about themselves have more to give, mentally and emotionally, to others.
Sign #5 of an Energy Shortage: You've stopped throwing your arms around each other when you come home or get together for a date. Or you never kiss goodbye in the morning.
Relationship Tip: Pass the love notes. We are wired to get excited when we see a text message or new email, even if it’s from someone we’ve known for a long time.
Spice up his day with reminders of how much he means to you. Send flirty texts. Entice him with poetic emails. Leave handwritten notes around the house or in his car.
Positive affirmations send a subliminal message that you are never taking him for granted.
Sign #6 of an Energy Shortage: She’s fully dressed under the covers, citing how cold it is outside when you finally come to bed.
Relationship Tip: Put on the chase. When you see her going her own way at day’s end—doing chores after dinner, picking up the phone to talk to friends, getting on her computer—intercept.
Offer to take over a task then tell her you’ve made an appointment for her to have a foot rub or back massage in the bedroom.
Have the candles lit, her favorite music playing and a sensual aroma such as patchouli oil, rose or ginger in the room. It may seem cliche but evoking the senses really does recharge passion.
You can try on some or all of these
re-energizing relationship tips. Go at your own pace.
It can be awkward at first to break the routine of a relationship that’s grown comfortable. But it will be worth it. With just a little spark, you can reignite big passions!