Many of the world’s great sages and philosophers have identified human beings’ judgmental minds as the source of many of life’s problems. For that reason, sacred texts often called upon their devotees to “judge not,” as it says in the Bible, and retain an “impartial intellect,” as it says in the Bhagavad Gita. Unfortunately, the tendency to judge is a powerful human trait, and people must work very hard on their growth to quiet their judgmental minds.
The tendency to judge is so strong that I recommend focusing on its opposite—love. Loving others is the exact opposite of judging others. Rather than dividing us, love brings us together and helps us see our similarities rather than differences. It helps us drop the ego's troublesome aspects in favor of a loving, radiant heart. Usually, people find it easy to love some things in their life, such as their family and their closest friends. But the judgmental mind holds others outside of our in-group at a distance—people who look different than us, have different beliefs, or have been categorized as “enemies.”
However, the soul wants much more than this; it wants us to move toward unconditional love, also known as agape. This love lives beyond the judgmental mind and is the purest form of love possible. Achieving this level of love is akin to full enlightenment, a state beyond the attachments and limitations of this world. Achieving unconditional love is extremely difficult, but we can develop it like most other abilities—through dedication and consistent practice. If you are interested in moving closer to a state of unconditional love, here are some practices I recommend:
1) View life from the broadest, highest perspective. Our egos often prevent us from feeling unconditional love toward others. The ego is all about preserving the self above and beyond the needs of others, and it tends to see life as a matter of competing against everyone around us, which in turn leads us to judge and divide ourselves away from other people. To develop a higher perspective, try to back up from any situation in life, especially those that trigger your ego to react in disappointment or anger. Try to get a God’s eye view of your situation. This will help you view problems beyond just your own limited perspective so that you can understand the perspectives of others and empathize with their position, even if your rational mind believes they are wrong.
2) See the interconnectedness of all things. Another feature of the human ego is its tendency to view itself as a separate individual disconnected from everyone else. This is a false perception, however. In reality, all life forms depend on an ecological network of living things, including the sun in the sky, the other human beings who help us through our lives, and the Earth herself. People today often speak of being an individual, but ultimately, we cannot live without connection to others and to the planet. Furthermore, we are all connected to each other through the energy fields of heaven and earth. Your soul is the part of you that knows and remembers this, even if you forget it while focusing on the physical realm. So, whenever you start to feel isolated or in conflict with the world, bring your mind back to the ultimate oneness of all consciousness and of all living beings.
3) Realize that unconditional love is the key to vibrant health. In my teachings, I help people achieve health through energy study. My students learn to wake up their energy centers and to release blockages in the meridian system of the body while also connecting to heavenly energy through the soul. The blockages we experience in the body are directly related to our inability to feel love fully. When disease or discomfort develops in the body, it is usually rooted in some kind of non-acceptance. In other words, our ability to love fully has been thwarted by unresolved negative experiences, stressful reactions and responses to daily life, or some unresolved preconception about life. If you are looking to free the energy in your body for the sake of healing, turn your mind to whatever it is you may be holding onto that is keeping you from opening your heart fully to the experiences of life.
4) Focus on your soul’s goal, not the goals of this temporary physical life. To become more unconditionally loving, shift your life’s goals from the body’s goals to the soul’s goals. Many of our negative feelings emerge from the body’s desire to have a happy, successful life here on earth. It is natural to want to have money and status in society, but ultimately, these things will bring you happiness. Paying attention to some of these things may be necessary for physical survival, but they will bring you lasting happiness in the end. Your soul came into this body for a much grander purpose—to grow your soul and to develop unconditional love in your mind. Your body is a limited entity that is given a finite amount of time on this earth. Your soul, on the other hand, is immortal and knows no bounds in the universe. To avoid becoming swept up in the desires of the body, focus your mind on your soul's goal, which is to live in peace, harmony, and boundless love. And, if you meditate upon your soul’s goals carefully you will find a path for yourself in the physical world that serves your soul and that of others, instead of the petty desires of the world.
5) Draw your focus inward, not outward. When making your life decisions, look inward to your soul's wisdom rather than outward toward the world’s ”wisdom” or “common sense.” The world drives people away from love and toward endless competition and narcissism. The world says, “Grab as much as you can for yourself! Get rich! Be famous! Climb to the top of the heap!” The soul, on the other hand, seeks to build greater harmony in connection between people. Thus, if you want good relationships with others and a truly happy life, you must be willing to ask your soul, “What do I really want?” If you genuinely and sincerely ask this question to your soul, not to your ego, it will steer you in the direction of love every time.
6) Love yourself first. It is nearly impossible to love others if you cannot love yourself first. And, as judgmental as we can be with other people, we are often even worse with ourselves, constantly criticizing and putting ourselves down. To begin loving others more unconditionally, start by responding to your own mind with unconditional love. Be kind and loving with yourself just as you would with a small child. If a child is messy or noisy, we may need to correct them, but we would never stop adoring them, and that is how you should also love yourself. Yes, in the process of growth, you will stumble and make mistakes, just like a child. But you also must know how precious you are and that your soul is like an adored child that deserves your constant care and nurturing.
Developing a fully unconditionally loving heart takes time. It is a habit and way of life, not something you can simply make appear out of nowhere. So, be patient with yourself, and take your quest to become an unconditionally loving person step-by-step and moment-by-moment. Even if you fail and judgments cloud your mind for a moment, you will soon return to your truer, higher self.